“Going home feels like hell” ... Husband worn down by wife’s “demands every night” for six years [Decision to Break Up]

[Financial News] A story has emerged about a man in his 40s who says that even going home is painful because his wife has demanded sex almost every day for the six years they have been married, except on days when physical circumstances made it impossible. A legal expert noted that, despite the wife pressuring him by saying that “refusing sex is also grounds for divorce,” the spouse who persists in coercion without a justifiable reason could instead be held responsible for the breakdown of the marriage.
A video titled “A Wife’s Excessive Demands for Sex: Is the Husband at Fault for Refusing?” was recently posted on the YouTube channel “Lawyer Yang Na-rae.”
A man in his early 40s, identified as Mr. A, who has been married for six years and has no children, said that the couple had no significant conflicts apart from their sex life. His wife, who had been expressive of her affection even when they were dating, began wanting sex every evening soon after they married, except during her menstrual period and at other such times. Mr. A was in his mid-30s during the early years of their marriage, and for one or two years he almost always met his wife’s demands as they tried to accommodate each other.
The problem, he said, was that even now, as they enter their sixth year of marriage, the frequency of his wife’s demands has not decreased at all. As Mr. A entered his 40s, his responsibilities at work grew, and frequent overtime left him suffering from severe chronic fatigue. Even when he reached his physical limits and asked, “Can we take just one day off?”, his wife responded coldly and complained, “I work too, so why won’t you?” and “Do you not see me as a woman anymore?”
As sex became more like an obligatory task than an expression of love, Mr. A’s distress grew. He confided, “When I came home, it didn’t feel like she was welcoming me. It felt as if she was happy, saying, ‘It’s time to do it now,’” and, “I felt like I’d become a means of satisfying my wife, so the trip home from work was painful.” Even when he opened up to friends, all he got in response were lighthearted jokes like “Must be nice” and “Are you bragging?”, not serious understanding.
Eventually, exhausted, Mr. A pretended to fall asleep on the sofa and avoided his wife’s demands for about a week. His wife then became furious and suspected him of cheating, saying, “If we don’t have sex, I feel unloved. Is there another woman?” She went on to berate him, saying, “Refusing sex is also grounds for divorce under the law.”
“I had been accommodating her faithfully for six years, and I only took a week off because I was so exhausted, yet she suspected me of cheating and even brought up divorce. It’s devastating,” Mr. A said, asking for advice: “Would I legally be considered the spouse at fault for refusing her demands? Or could my wife be held responsible for disregarding my wishes and constantly pressuring me?”
In response, family-law specialist Yang Na-rae said that it would be difficult for Mr. A’s refusal to constitute grounds for divorce. “There is no fixed absolute legal standard for how often married couples should have sex,” she said, explaining that “mutual agreement is key, since couples differ in their stamina and preferences.” She added, “After maintaining a normal sex life for a long time, taking about a week off due to physical fatigue cannot be considered ‘refusing sex without a justifiable reason’ under the law.”
She also offered the view that the wife, who repeatedly pressured him, could instead be identified as the spouse at fault. “Sex must be based on mutual, voluntary consent and agreement,” Yang said. “If one spouse continues to pressure the other despite their complaints of physical strain, says things like ‘How can a man not do it every day?’ or suspects them of cheating without grounds, there may be grounds to hold the spouse making the demands responsible for the breakdown of the marriage.”


[email protected] Moon Young-jin Reporter