“We’re getting married, and I can’t even ask about your debt?” Couple clash ahead of meeting their families [What do you think?]

[Financial News] A woman in her 30s who was preparing to get married got into a dispute with her boyfriend after asking how much he still owed on his loans and how much he paid each month. Her future husband pushed back, saying he had never deceived her about money during their three years together. “Are you a detective?” he asked.
According to JTBC’s Scandal Supervisor on the 3rd, a woman in her 30s who had been dating her boyfriend for three years got into an argument with him over his loans ahead of a meeting between their families.
They were both at a stage in life where they had established themselves at work, and had naturally begun preparing for marriage. The issue of his loans came up when the woman, with the family meeting approaching, sought advice from a friend who was already married.
As she listened to the woman talk about wedding preparations, the friend asked, “Have you talked about how much debt each of you has?”
The woman knew that her boyfriend had debt. He had supported himself without financial help from his parents, taking out student loans and loans for a jeonse deposit, and was still steadily paying them off.
However, she did not know exactly how much debt he had left. With their wedding approaching, she asked him how much he still owed and how much he repaid each month.
But as soon as he heard the question, her boyfriend sighed. “Why are you asking me so many detailed questions today of all days?” he said, sounding uncomfortable.
The woman explained, “We’re going to get married anyway, aren’t we? We’ll be sharing a household and becoming a family, so it’s better for us to know exactly what we need to know about each other.”
Her boyfriend claimed that he had never hidden the fact that he had loans and had already talked about them. He said he was handling his debt repayments himself and that she had nothing to worry about.
The woman said she found her boyfriend’s reaction hard to understand. “I was just asking. Why are you getting so angry?” she said, adding, “Marriage is a reality.” She stressed, “I’m going to be your wife, so you should disclose everything I have a right to know.”
Her boyfriend said he felt pressured by questions seeking specific details about the size of his loans. “It feels like you’re interrogating me right now,” he said. “When have I ever deceived you about money in the three years we’ve been together? Are you a detective?”
In the end, they raised their voices at each other and argued.
Attorney Park Ji-hoon, who heard their story, stressed that people should tell their prospective spouses exactly how much debt they have.
“You have to disclose your debt whether it’s small or large. You have to disclose it, no matter what,” Attorney Park said. “That way, the person who is going to become your spouse has a chance to make an informed decision.”
Professor Park Sang-hee of the Department of Counseling Psychology also agreed that debt should be disclosed before marriage. However, she said people should also take care with how they ask, bearing the other person’s feelings in mind.
“Since she already knew her boyfriend had debt, I think she should have been a little more considerate and asked carefully so as not to hurt his pride,” Professor Park said.


[email protected] Han Seung-gon Reporter