“That Was Money We’d Saved to Buy a Home”—Wife Gives Her Younger Sister 20 Million Won Saved Over Three Years

[Financial News] A husband was furious after learning that his wife had sent 20 million won to her younger sister without consulting him—the money they had saved for three years to buy a home. The couple had saved the money together, and it was used for the sister’s wedding expenses, but the husband said he only found out later.
A post recently shared on an online community, titled “My wife secretly sent 20 million won for her younger sister’s wedding,” described a conflict over the couple’s shared funds.
The man who posted the account, identified only as Mr. A, said he discovered a transfer he hadn’t known about while checking the transaction history of an account he and his wife shared the previous day.
The account showed that 10 million won had been withdrawn in the fall of last year and another 10 million won in the spring of this year. The recipient of the full 20 million won was his wife’s younger sister.
When her husband asked why she had sent the money, the wife said she had helped pay for her younger sister’s wedding. When he pressed her on why she hadn’t told him beforehand, she replied, “I thought you’d oppose it if I told you.”
Mr. A said his wife’s answer made him even angrier. He took issue with her not discussing the matter with him before using their shared funds, even though she expected him to object.
Mr. A and his wife are raising two children and live in a home rented under Korea’s jeonse system. He works at a mobile phone store, while his wife works as a supermarket cashier. Their combined monthly income is reportedly less than 5 million won.
The 20 million won sent to his wife’s younger sister was money the couple had saved over three years toward buying a home. Mr. A said he had built up the savings by bringing a packed lunch to work and even quitting smoking to cut household expenses.
Mr. A said the money was needed for the family’s housing plans. “That money came from the home-buying account where we’d scrimped and saved for three years,” he said. He added, “That money was a room for our kids.”
Mr. A also found it hard to accept that his wife’s younger sister and her husband were better off financially than they were. He said the sister’s husband worked at a state-owned company, and that she had secured an apartment with help from her in-laws during her marriage. Given that his own family lived in a jeonse rental, he said he couldn’t understand the decision to give her 20 million won.
Mr. A claimed that his wife’s family also knew about the financial support. During the most recent holiday, his mother-in-law had greeted him by saying, “Thank you, Mr. Kim.” He said he hadn’t understood why at the time, but only realized what was going on after later discovering his wife’s transfer.
He also thought of a friend’s marriage. His friend’s wife, he said, first discusses it with her husband when sending things to her own parents or taking care of her in-laws. Mr. A said he envied that kind of relationship.
By contrast, Mr. A said his trust had been shattered by learning that his wife had sent such a large sum—20 million won—to her younger sister without consulting him.
His wife reportedly argued that an older sister should be able to give that much to a younger sister who was about to get married. Mr. A said she also told him that, because she had practically raised her sister from childhood, she felt almost like a mother to her.
Mr. A said he understood how deeply his wife cared for her younger sister. He had also given 500,000 won as a wedding gift and driven her to the airport when she left for her honeymoon. He said he had done what was needed to help her as her brother-in-law.
The couple also argued over their children’s housing situation. When Mr. A brought up the future of their two children, who were growing up in a jeonse rental, his wife reportedly burst into tears and said, “You only care about money.”
The husband said he believed the family’s housing environment mattered more than money. Mr. A said, “It’s not that I only care about money; that money was a room for our kids.”
Mr. A said he was in no position to ask his wife’s younger sister to return the money or to complain directly to his wife’s family. He and his wife had stopped talking the previous evening. He said even the children were watching their parents carefully and asking, “Dad, Mom, did you fight?”
He said the emotional shock was making daily life difficult, too. Mr. A said his hands were shaking so much that he struggled to serve customers properly at the store, and that he didn’t know how he would face his wife after work.
Readers who saw the post criticized the wife for unilaterally spending the couple’s shared money. They responded with comments such as, “Why spend money we saved together without even discussing it?” and “Isn’t this grounds for divorce?”
[email protected] Han Seung-gon Reporter