“My husband wants to postpone my mother’s 70th birthday celebration because of his family’s kimchi-making... I’m at a loss for words” [What do you think?]

[Financial News] A wife’s account of feeling hurt by her husband’s insistence on postponing a dinner to celebrate her mother’s 70th birthday because of his family’s kimchi-making has sparked outrage among netizens.

On the 16th, a post titled “I fought with my husband all afternoon over what he said about my mom’s 70th birthday” was uploaded to the online community Nate Pann.
The author, identified as A, began by saying, “My mom’s 70th birthday is next week. I’ve booked a restaurant with my older sister and younger brother.”
She said, “I told my husband the date, and he looked at the calendar. Then he said, ‘My mom is making kimchi that Saturday. Couldn’t we do it on Sunday?’ So I asked, ‘It’s my mom’s 70th birthday. Is making kimchi more important than her 70th?’ He said, ‘Your mom has a birthday every year, doesn’t she? My mom makes kimchi every year, too.’” She lamented, “I was speechless when I heard that. My husband is someone who puts a 70th birthday and making kimchi on the same level.”
A said that, hearing this, she was reminded of everything that had built up over the years. She recalled, “Last year, I took a half day off for my mother-in-law’s birthday and went over after making seaweed soup, japchae and braised short ribs.” She added, “When it was my mom’s birthday, my husband said he had work, so I went alone. Later, I found out he’d gone fishing with his friends that day.”
She continued, “For holidays, too, we go to his parents’ the day before and stay overnight, but when it comes to my parents, my husband says he’s tired and wants to get up early, so we only stop by to see them briefly on the evening of the holiday itself.” She said, “When I brought all that up, my husband said, ‘That’s all in the past, isn’t it? Why do you keep score?’”
Her husband argued, “My mom is on her own. My father has passed away, so if I don’t take care of her, who will?” A reportedly retorted, “Isn’t my mom on her own, too? My dad passed away last year, didn’t he?” Only then, she said, was her husband unable to say anything.

A said, “My husband suggested we stop by briefly in the evening after making kimchi. I said, ‘That’s worse than not coming at all,’ and he shouted, ‘Then what do you want me to do?’” She added, “My mother-in-law doesn’t know about this yet. If she did, she’d probably say, ‘I’ll take care of the kimchi-making myself, so go celebrate your mother’s birthday.’”
She continued, “My mother-in-law isn’t the problem; my husband is. He gets scared in advance that his mom might be hurt and dumps everything on me.”
She added, “I called my older sister, and she said, ‘Your husband has always been like that. Just come by yourself.’ That hurt even more,” lamenting, “My family has no expectations of my husband.”

Netizens who read the account responded, “On your mom’s 70th birthday, tell your in-laws that day you can’t attend because it’s your mom’s 70th, and don’t go”; “You can’t change a person like that. Just take care of your own parents separately”; “Your mother-in-law seems like a decent person, so I don’t know why your husband acts that way”; and “They should have set clear expectations for family occasions on both sides early in the marriage, but it seems the expectations were far too weighted toward his family.”
[email protected] Kim Su-yeon Reporter