“I put up 200 million won toward the lease deposit, so give me the passcode” ... Mother-in-law came and went from newlyweds’ home [What do you think?]

[Financial News] A story has emerged about a mother-in-law who frequently let herself into her son and daughter-in-law’s newlywed home, monitored their private lives with a home camera, and even arranged a matchmaking date between her son and another woman. A woman in her second year of marriage said she decided to divorce after learning that her husband had actually gone to the meeting.

On the 13th, YTN Radio’s “Attorney Jo In-seop’s Counseling Center” featured Ms. A, a woman in her second year of marriage, who spoke about the conflict she had experienced because of her mother-in-law’s excessive interference.

Ms. A said, “I’m suffering so much because of my mother-in-law. The root of all the problems was the house,” explaining that the trouble began while they were arranging their newlywed home.

Of the 300 million won lease deposit for the newlywed home, the husband’s family paid 200 million won and Ms. A put up 100 million won. Ms. A also reportedly gave them 10 million won for wedding gifts.

She said, “Of the 300 million won lease deposit for our newlywed home, my husband’s family paid 200 million won and I paid 100 million won. I also gave them 10 million won for wedding gifts. But my mother-in-law said she had paid more toward the deposit and asked me to give her the passcode. Then she started coming and going from our home.”

The mother-in-law’s visits extended into every part of the couple’s living space. When Ms. A came home from work, the side dishes in the refrigerator had been moved, and her mother-in-law had even opened and organized the drawer where she kept her underwear.

On weekend mornings, she would even enter the couple’s bedroom, saying, “I came to see if my son was being given breakfast.”

Her mother-in-law’s remarks reportedly became even more severe when the couple did not have children after getting married. Ms. A alleged, “Once we didn’t have a child, the verbal abuse started too. In front of both sets of parents, my mother-in-law insulted me, saying things like, ‘We took in a daughter-in-law who can’t even have a child’ and ‘The problem is how she was raised by her family.’”

She said she asked her husband for help, but all he said was, “You know what my mom is like. You have to accommodate her.”

The home camera installed in the living room was another problem. Ms. A said she only found out later that the camera, which she had been told was installed for the family’s safety, was actually connected to her mother-in-law’s phone.

She also found out that her mother-in-law had arranged for her husband to meet another woman. Ms. A said, “My mother-in-law even arranged a matchmaking date for my husband, saying, ‘She’s a nice young woman, so go meet her. You can divorce your wife later.’ My husband followed her advice and was secretly going out to have coffee with the woman.”

Ms. A said that after going through these experiences, she took medication for anxiety and insomnia before deciding to divorce. She asked for legal advice, saying, “I decided to divorce after taking medication for severe anxiety and insomnia. I want to know whether my mother-in-law’s verbal abuse and surveillance of my private life could be grounds for divorce. I also want to know whether my mother-in-law could face legal punishment, and whether my husband going on a matchmaking date counts as infidelity.”

Attorney Kwak Dong-ju explained that the mother-in-law’s repeated verbal abuse and invasions of privacy could be recognized as grounds for a judicial divorce.

He said, “Article 840(3) of the Civil Act lists as grounds for divorce being subjected to ‘severe unfair treatment by one’s spouse or the spouse’s lineal ascendants.’ If the mother-in-law repeatedly opened the door to the couple’s bedroom in the early morning, monitored their private lives, and insulted Ms. A in front of her parents, the case could fall under this provision.”

He said that the husband’s failure to protect his wife despite knowing about his mother’s behavior could also affect the determination of the grounds for divorce. Attorney Kwak stated, “The husband’s failure to protect his wife despite knowing about the situation—and instead taking his mother’s side—could also be considered his responsibility for the breakdown of the marriage and fall under Article 840(6), ‘other serious causes that make it difficult to continue the marriage.’”

He also explained whether Ms. A could separately seek damages for emotional distress from her mother-in-law. Attorney Kwak said, “If the parents-in-law improperly intervened in the couple’s relationship and were a primary cause of the breakdown of the marriage, their conduct could be viewed as an unlawful infringement of the marital relationship, going beyond ordinary conflict between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. If a sufficiently direct causal link to the breakdown of the marriage is recognized, the mother-in-law could be held liable to pay damages for a separate tort.”

He said that listening to or recording conversations through the living-room home camera could raise the question of whether the Protection of Communications Secrets Act had been violated. Attorney Kwak explained, “Under the Act, recording or listening in on conversations between others that are not open to the public is prohibited. If someone who was not part of a conversation secretly listened to or recorded it, that could be illegal even if one of the people in the conversation—the husband—consented.”

He said that the fact that the husband went on a matchmaking date with another woman would not, by itself, automatically constitute infidelity. However, going to meet another potential marriage partner while married could be viewed as undermining trust with one’s spouse.

Attorney Kwak advised, “If someone who is married goes on a matchmaking date to find a new marriage partner, that could be viewed as a betrayal of their spouse’s trust, even if it was only one meeting. However, it may be difficult to establish infidelity based on a single meeting alone, so it would be advisable to check the message history to see whether they continued communicating afterward.”


[email protected] Han Seung-gon Reporter