"You're saying you're not going to your in-laws' for Chuseok?" How MZ Couples Spend the Holiday

[Financial News]#. Ms. Jung, 33, who has been married for two years, had a major fight with her husband, Mr. Kim, during this year's Chuseok holiday. She insisted that she would stay only at her parents' home and would not visit her husband's family. Mr. Kim tried to persuade his wife to visit both sets of parents, but was met with an utterly unresponsive reaction. Ms. Jung took a firm stance, saying, "Marriage is a life shared by the two people involved, so I don't understand why I should go to my husband's family and deliberately put myself under stress," and adding, "Like parents in Western societies, parents should respect their children's independent married lives." She continued, "My parents always went everywhere with me when I was young and showered me with love, so I should at least spend the holidays with them."In recent years, so-called "helicopter parents" have become increasingly common in schools, workplaces, broader society and even the military, excessively following their children and favoring them. As a result, children raised under such parents are developing stronger individualistic tendencies. Just a few years ago, couples would at least observe basic etiquette by visiting both sets of parents during the holidays, but the trend has rapidly shifted, with many now avoiding both families altogether.
According to legal circles on the 24th, more young couples are choosing to visit their own parents separately during the holidays rather than visiting both families together. Experts say that failing to understand this trend can even lead to divorce.
Mr. Park, 34, who is newly married, also struggled during this year's Chuseok holiday. He did his best to help with the holiday preparations at his wife's parents' home, including making dozens of jeon, but said he was met only with his mother-in-law's reproach: "Can't you even make a single jeon?"
In other words, this was the so-called "cheoworld," not the "siworld." In colloquial terms, Mr. Park said he was tired of seeing all the unpleasant scenes and planned to stop visiting his wife's parents' home starting with next year's holiday.
He lamented, "I work for a major corporation and even paid for our newlywed home, yet my wife keeps nagging me to leave work on time, read fairy tales to our child and do the household chores. If married life means shouldering the demands of a difficult job and all the housework, as well as making jeon at my wife's parents' home during the holidays, I would never have gotten married in the first place."
Another story also sparked public outrage after spreading online: A woman became angry with her husband, saying she had been treated unfairly, including being left to do all the dishes alone at his family's home during Chuseok, but her husband left her at a highway rest area and disappeared.
Several days later, the husband handed his wife a written pledge stating, "From now on, you must always go to my parents' home during the holidays, and if you violate this, you agree to the divorce and will not seek a division of marital property." The wife eventually stamped the document. However, when she continued not to visit his family, the husband attached the pledge and filed a divorce lawsuit.
According to marriage and divorce statistics from the Ministry of Data and Statistics, there were 240,326 marriages and 88,130 divorces last year.
At the heart of holiday-related conflicts was the issue of visiting the husband's or wife's family. In a survey of 403 married women nationwide conducted by Duo Life Consulting, 58.1% of respondents said that visiting their husband's family was "difficult and uncomfortable." Among the family members who made such visits uncomfortable, the mother-in-law ranked first at 41.8%, followed by the sister-in-law at 21.2%.
A survey of 518 divorced men and women nationwide conducted by remarriage-focused matchmaking agencies Only U and Bienarae also revealed one aspect of holiday-related marital conflicts. For women, the biggest source of holiday stress was "meeting the husband's family" at 29.3%, while men ranked "coordinating schedules with their wives" first at 30.5%.
Legal experts pointed out that interference from both families and holiday stress syndrome are major causes of divorce. A lawyer who formerly served as a judge at Seoul Family Court emphasized, "For example, when the husband's family criticizes the daughter-in-law, the wife's family often ends up confronting the husband's family. This is an era in which couples must respect both families, while both sets of parents must understand their children's independent married lives, in order to avoid divorce."
[email protected] Yoo Sun-joon Reporter