“You secretly took out loans? Kneel down and write a letter of remorse”... Husband humiliated by mother-in-law’s demands decides to divorce [This Law]

[Financial News] A story has emerged about a man who decided to divorce after feeling unable to endure the humiliation of his mother-in-law’s demand that he kneel and write a letter of remorse after she discovered that he had secretly sent living expenses to his family of origin and taken out loans worth tens of millions of won.

On the 10th, YTN Radio’s “Attorney Jo In-seop’s Counseling Center” introduced the story of a man identified as A, who said he had decided to divorce his wife.
A, who said he grew up in financially difficult circumstances, began by saying, “Until just before I got married, I was contributing living expenses to my family of origin, and I had already taken out loans because of those expenses.”
He said, “I didn’t tell my wife,” adding, “It wasn’t that I deliberately tried to hide it. My annual salary was fairly good, so I thought I could pay it back quickly.”
Unlike A’s family, his wife’s family was reportedly financially well-off.
A said, “My mother-in-law lent us the deposit for the rental home where we began our married life, and perhaps because of that, she often showed up at our home without even telling us. But my wife considered it perfectly normal,” adding, “I felt as though I was living in my own home while serving two workplace bosses—my wife and my mother-in-law—without even being able to properly rest.”

After their child was born, finances became tight. A, who still had to continue sending living expenses to his family of origin, reportedly secretly took out additional loans of approximately 20 million to 30 million won to make up the shortfall.
A said, “I couldn’t tell my wife because she would get extremely angry whenever I brought up money,” adding, “On one occasion, my wife acted violently, so I even called 112.”
He continued, “Eventually, she found out about the loans. My wife went through my bank account and card records in detail, then even called my mother-in-law and treated me like a criminal,” claiming, “My mother-in-law forced me to kneel and write a letter of remorse, and I demanded a divorce because I couldn’t bear the humiliation.”
A said, “But my wife says I am the spouse at fault. I took out the loans for my family, so can I really be considered the spouse at fault simply because I didn’t tell my wife?” He added, “Instead, I want to hold my wife legally responsible for repeatedly verbally abusing and assaulting me.”
He continued, “The property issue is also overwhelming. My wife says the deposit for the rental home where we currently live belongs to my mother-in-law, and that she is the policyholder for the insurance policies we have, so she tells me to leave empty-handed.”
He asked for advice, saying, “The rental deposit and insurance were maintained throughout our marriage while we lived together as a couple. Do I really have to be thrown out without receiving even a penny in the division of marital property?”

Attorney Kim Mi-ru, who reviewed the case, said, “Simply failing to tell a spouse about loan debt does not immediately constitute grounds for divorce,” explaining, “If the loans were not substantial enough to cause the collapse of the household economy, and if they were used for purposes necessary for married life rather than personal spending or gambling, it would be difficult to regard them as grounds for divorce.”
The attorney pointed out, “Rather, the wife bears primary responsibility for the breakdown of the marriage because she stood by while her mother interfered excessively and humiliated her husband through violent threats and by forcing him to write a letter of remorse.”
Attorney Kim said, “Unless direct assault, repeated verbal abuse, or other unlawful conduct by the mother-in-law can be proven, it would not be easy to claim damages for emotional distress directly from her. However, he can seek such damages from his wife,” adding, “Regarding division of marital property, the mother-in-law’s support for the rental deposit would be recognized as a de facto gift if there is no loan agreement or record of interest payments.”
She continued, “The person who submitted this story can also seek a division of marital property according to his contribution. However, insurance is included in the marital-property division only if the wife is the policyholder, regardless of who paid the premiums,” advising, “Personal loans taken out before the marriage to support his family of origin are not debts incurred for the couple’s shared life and are therefore excluded from the division.”

[email protected] Kim Su-yeon Reporter