"You Took Out a Loan Behind My Back? Kneel Down and Write a Letter of Remorse"—Husband Humiliated by Mother-in-Law’s Demands Decides to Divorce [This Law]

[Financial News] A man who had been sending living expenses to his parents without telling his wife and had taken out loans worth tens of millions of won reportedly decided to seek a divorce after feeling humiliated when his mother-in-law demanded that he kneel down and write a letter of remorse after discovering the loans.

On the 10th, YTN Radio’s “Attorney Jo In-seop’s Counseling Center” introduced the story of a man identified as Mr. A, who said he had decided to divorce his wife.
Mr. A, who said he had grown up in financially difficult circumstances, began by saying, "I was contributing to my parents’ living expenses until just before I got married, and I had already taken out loans because of those expenses."
He said, "I didn’t tell my wife," adding, "It wasn’t that I deliberately tried to hide it. My salary was fairly good, so I thought I could pay it back quickly."
Unlike Mr. A, his wife’s family was reportedly financially well-off.
Mr. A said, "We started married life with a jeonse deposit for our newlywed home borrowed from my mother-in-law, and perhaps because of that, she often showed up at our home without even telling us. But my wife considered it perfectly normal." He continued, "I felt as though I was living in my own home while serving two workplace bosses—my wife and my mother-in-law—without even being able to properly rest."

After their child was born, their finances became tight. Mr. A, who still had to send living expenses to his parents, reportedly took out an additional 20 million to 30 million won in loans without telling his wife to cover the shortfall.
Mr. A said, "I couldn’t tell my wife because she would get extremely angry whenever I brought up money." He added, "On one occasion, my wife acted violently, so I even called 112."
He continued, "Eventually, she found out about the loans. My wife went through my bank account and card records in detail, then even called my mother-in-law and treated me like a criminal." He added, "My mother-in-law forced me to kneel down and write a letter of remorse, and I couldn’t bear the humiliation, so I asked for a divorce."
Mr. A said, "But my wife claims that I am the spouse at fault. I took out the loans for my family, so can I really be considered the spouse at fault simply because I didn’t tell my wife?" He added, "Instead, I want to hold my wife legally responsible for repeatedly verbally and physically abusing me."
He also expressed concern about their property, saying, "The jeonse deposit for the home we live in now came from my mother-in-law, and my wife says that she is also the policyholder for the insurance we took out, so she tells me to leave with nothing."
He asked for advice, saying, "The jeonse deposit and insurance were maintained throughout our marriage while we lived together as a couple. Do I really have to be forced out without receiving even a penny in the division of marital property?"

Attorney Kim Mi-ru, who reviewed the case, explained, "Simply failing to tell a spouse about loan debt does not immediately constitute grounds for divorce." She added, "If the loans were not substantial enough to cause the family’s finances to collapse, and if the money was used for the marriage rather than for personal purposes or gambling, it would be difficult to regard them as grounds for divorce."
She pointed out, "Rather, the wife bears primary responsibility for the breakdown of the marriage if she stood by while her mother interfered excessively and humiliated her husband through violent threats and by forcing him to write a letter of remorse."
Attorney Kim said, "As for the mother-in-law, it would be difficult to directly seek damages for emotional distress unless illegal conduct, such as direct assault or persistent verbal abuse, can be proven. However, he can seek damages from his wife." She added, "Regarding the division of marital property, the mother-in-law’s support in providing the jeonse deposit would be recognized as an actual gift if there was no loan agreement or record of interest payments."
She continued, "The person who submitted this account may also seek a division of marital property based on his contribution. However, insurance can be included in the property subject to division only if the wife is listed as the policyholder, regardless of who paid the premiums." She advised, "Personal loans taken before marriage to support his parents are not debts incurred for the couple’s shared life and are therefore excluded from the division."

[email protected] Kim Su-yeon Reporter