"I Felt Like I Was Going to Die": Kim Jung-hwa Reveals Why She Stepped Away at the Peak of Her Career

[Financial News] Actress Kim Jung-hwa has spoken candidly about why she paused her entertainment career in her 20s, when she was at the height of her activity.
In a video uploaded to her YouTube channel on the 30th, titled "The Reason I Gave Up Everything and Suddenly Disappeared," Kim Jung-hwa talked about life, faith, and married life with her husband, You Eun-sung.
She said that while her public life looked glamorous in her 20s, she was going through a difficult period inside.
Kim Jung-hwa said of that time, "I was raised in the faith, but there were times when I felt confused while working in the entertainment industry." She added, "Of course, I did not do anything terribly bad, but there were times when I felt I was not pleasing in God's eyes."
Her decision to stop working was also tied to physical and emotional struggles. Kim Jung-hwa said, "I was a little sick. When I was ill, I thought I should study the Bible," and added, "Then there came a time when I thought, 'If I keep going like this, I might really have bad thoughts,' so I stopped all my activities."
She said she stepped away at a time when she was busier than ever. "That was when I was doing the best. It was the period when I was really active," she said. "It was not easy to let that go."
Her agency also tried to dissuade her from taking a break, but Kim Jung-hwa said her mind did not change. "The company kept talking to me about it, but I said, 'No. I feel like I am going to die, so I don't think I can do this,'" she explained, adding that she eventually gave up work.
After stepping away, Kim Jung-hwa began studying the Bible. "That was the first time I really read the Bible properly," she said. "The stories in it felt so mysterious, so interesting, and I was grateful to believe in them. I think that was the first time I truly believed."
Looking back on that period, Kim Jung-hwa said, "That was when I experienced what all believers talk about — that the world looks different. I was in my mid-20s. Through Bible study, my life began to come alive."
She also said her outward image and her real condition were very different. "Before that, I looked glamorous and seemed so successful to everyone, but I was dead and dying inside," she said.
"Other people may have thought, 'Kim Jung-hwa is gone now,' or 'She suddenly disappeared,' but for me, that was when I began to experience being brought back to life," she added.
She also shared her connection with Agnes, a child with AIDS whom she met during volunteer work in Africa. Kim Jung-hwa, who had been going through a depressed period, said her experience in Africa made her rethink the everyday life she had taken for granted.
"I was born in the Republic of Korea, in a home where I could make a living. I was able to study, and I happened to debut and do well. Until then, I thought all of that was natural," Kim Jung-hwa said. "But after going to Africa, I realized that not a single thing was something to take for granted."
She also opened up about her mindset in the past. "Things like, 'Why do I have to be less successful than that person?', 'Why can't I do commercials like that person?', and 'Why can't I be the lead in a drama?' had piled up inside me," she said.
After returning from Africa, her perspective changed. Kim Jung-hwa said, "I thought, 'I am so grateful even if I only play supporting roles,' and 'I am so grateful just to have a place where I can act.'" She added, "Everything turned into gratitude, and I think that became a turning point that helped me move a little away from depression."
Meanwhile, Kim Jung-hwa was loved as a youth star in the early 2000s through dramas, films, and commercials. She married CCM singer and composer You Eun-sung in 2013, and the couple has two sons.


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