"If only I hadn't let that woman into the house..." A mother who has blamed herself for 37 years [Searching for Lost Families]

[The Financial News]"If I had just been a little more suspicious, I wouldn’t have lost my daughter. I have lived my whole life in regret, feeling like a sinner."Recalling her daughter Han So-hee, who went missing more than 30 years ago and would now be 37 years old, Lee Ja-woo spoke with these words. So much time has passed that Han, who was only seven months old at the time of her disappearance, would now be a 37-year-old adult.
Han went missing on May 18, 1989. On the day of the incident, the mother and daughter were at their home in Namchang-dong, Suwon, Gyeonggi Province, when the sound of someone knocking on the front gate shattered their peaceful daily routine.
When Lee went outside, she found a short, unfamiliar woman standing there. The woman said she had come from a milk distribution center and claimed she was looking for "Jin-young’s mother," who had allegedly run off with her money.
The woman abruptly asked Lee, "Could I have a glass of water?" and stepped into the house. She sat on the wooden floor and showed interest in Han. She reportedly said, "If only this child were a boy, how wonderful that would be," and added, "I also have a child about So-hee’s age, but I left the child with my mother-in-law."
Lee felt a sense of unease but could not bring herself to drive the woman out. After giving her water, Lee went to prepare dinner, and when she looked back a short while later, her daughter was gone. The woman had run off holding Han in her arms.
Panicked, Lee was unable to respond immediately. Instead of chasing after the woman, she called her husband to tell him their daughter had been abducted. The police arrived after her husband reported the incident, but Han’s whereabouts were never confirmed. Local residents testified that they saw the woman taking Han away, but because she was wearing Lee’s shoes, they mistook her for a relative.
Lee sighed as she said, "If only I hadn’t let that woman into the house, if only I had chased after her when she ran off with So-hee in her arms, none of this would have happened," adding, "I have spent my whole life blaming myself for losing my daughter in such a futile way."
Lee and her family traveled all over the country in search of Han. They handed out flyers, appeared on broadcast programs, and received countless tips, but none of them led to Han.
The hope Lee clings to now is that Han herself will one day take a DNA test and search for her birth mother. However, because Han was so young at the time of her disappearance, there is a high possibility that she does not know anything about the circumstances of her birth.
Lee said, "I hope that the woman who took So-hee will, even belatedly, feel remorse and at least tell her that her birth mother is alive," adding, "If I could just know that my daughter is living happily somewhere, I would have nothing more to ask for."
Lee said she often thinks back to when she was pregnant with her daughter. At that time, a strong preference for sons prevailed in society, yet she vividly remembers how she, her husband, and her mother-in-law were all delighted when they learned that the baby she was carrying was a girl.
It is said that since their daughter went missing, Lee’s husband has never once blamed his wife. Thanks to him, Lee was able to pull herself together and do her best to maintain her daily life. Many families of missing persons are unable to withstand such sudden misfortune and end up separating, but they managed to overcome it.
Lee expressed her gratitude, saying, "How much must my husband have resented me in his heart?" but "He never once spoke harshly to me and always comforted me." She continued, "One day I went outside and saw him crying as he hit a utility pole," adding, "Seeing him like that made me think that I, too, had to pull myself together."
Lee emphasized that she hopes her daughter does not think of herself as abandoned. She said, "When I meet children in care facilities, many of them believe their parents abandoned them," and added, "I sincerely hope that So-hee has not fallen into such dark thoughts."
Finally, she said, "Most families of long-term missing persons are now elderly," adding, "Many pass away while still searching for their lost family members, and it breaks my heart because it feels so close to home. I hope the government will provide more support in helping people find their missing loved ones."

banaffle@fnnews.com Yoon Hong-jip Reporter